THE STARS AT NIGHT ARE BIG AND BRIGHT

 HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND SEASONS GREETINGS TO ALL!

I have moved out of MO to TX! I am living about 30 minutes South of Austin in Kyle; very close to all things river activities and universities. I am working in a SNF which of course has had a recent COVID outbreak.

 

Listening to this wonderful album while I blog. 

It's a bittersweet time. While I am excited for a new start in a new place (permanent job) I get sentimental thinking about this past year. I can't seem to get my shit together and wish I could so I can find peace. I'm too old to be doing this shit anymore but not old enough that I can retire. This year has been a bitch to have anxiety, depression, insecurities, and being a healthcare worker. In short- I did not want to move back to STL for many reasons (NONE related to family) and knew I could not carry on in Osage Beach. I still wonder if I made the right decision for leaving my job there- I have made some amazing friends and memories there. I'm getting emotional and teary as I write this. I know if I had stayed there the stress I put on myself and from the job itself would have made me completely lose myself.  I loved all my co-workers and will miss everyone- especially those who have made the last couple weeks more enjoyable and special. I miss everyone right now because I'm crying and probably because it's Christmas. I worked here 11 months and thats  long time after doing contract jobs. Anyway- I want to give some shout-outs and then i'll be less serious. 

My PT buddy Yuvy and my lil sis Chelsey. 

Halloween insects

Good hair days and appreciation t shirts with Julie B and Yuvy

Lakeside/Ozark/Richland therapy family: Sheila, Julie P, Julie B, Grover, Jessica, Chelsey (yes you count here), Danielle, Yuvy, Haylee (even though you're gone now)- I love you all and am so fortunate to have worked with you and know you. I hope we stay in touch.

Lakeside Stonebridge Family: Work-mom Mindy, Chelsey, Jennifer, Tylie, Cheryl, Patty, Lyndsay, Trish, Sandra, Donna M, Donna O, Don, Ally, Holly, etc. You're all amazing at what you do and who you are. I'm sure I've forgotten someone.

Extended Stonebridge Family: Hannah, Danielle L, Alyssa, Pitu, Jami, Jackie, Joyce, Lydia- you're all amazing. And hasn't it been so much fun to try to figure out everyday what the hell is going on and who's going where? 

We loved Ha Ha Tonka State Park in Camdenton! Definitely recommend if you go down to the lake! 

So before I left Osage Beach and because I hadn't hit an animal in over a year (last one a doe; a deer, a female deer) I had to go and freaking kill a RACCOON. And for those who don't know my driving history this is raccoon #2, + the doe, and a couple squirrels thrown in there.I swear I do not try to do this. I'm going to meet Chelsey for drinks and I'm driving across the Glaize bridge and this fat lil' raccoon is waddling across the bridge; until he wasn't waddling anymore because I killed him. I heard this loud CRACK! and i thought 'that must be the bones'- it turns out it wasn't that but cracking my bumper. Awesome. If I am mauled by raccoons, squirrels, or deer at this point I won't be surprised. I do wonder if this raccoon was under some mental stress as they were on a bridge over the lake but hey- it's been a rough year for everyone. However I think the raccoons are on to me as I think those are the footprints on my car roof. If I disappear you'll know why. 

My amazing movers/parents moved me out of my Osage Beach apartment and we took hopefully our last road trip back down to Texas (older viewers and friends will recall I worked there in 2018). I am excited to be both near Austin and San Antonio for activities but happy to have a quiet place to live outside of a major city.  There are lot of warm weather activities to do including tons of parks and river stuff in the spring/summer. I am thrilled to be back in Texas and start over in many ways. I LOVE my family and all my amazing friends- I want to stay in touch and please visit. 

Guadalupe River

When the Trazodone hits...

That's all for now, I'll post pics of my house next time.

Thanks for reading

Peace, love, and bluebells

ME

Do More of What Makes you Happy

Ha Ha Tonka State Park

Buddies 4 Life

Hello Hello Hello!

Welcome back. It's been over 2 months since I said I'd post shortly after I posted pictures. Here I am now. Life changes and I think we all know this year has been shit, to say the least. 

Well- it's November and I'm still in Osage Beach for now. I wasn't here last year this time of year so it has been nice to see the colors change. And it's the time of year where people are not watching for deer on the road during their mating season and unfortunately there are a lot of carcasses out there. I have learned my lesson from my CA experience to be hyper-vigilant although this doesn't transfer to other aspects of my driving. Speaking of- I nearly got a $750 dollar fine for speeding in a construction zones. Thankfully I got a warning from Officer Reno 911 and also hyper-vigilant in this area as well.

Ok, so A LOT has happened in this world since I wrote a post in May this year (aside from the pics of course). The world of healthcare has become more exhausting to put it lightly- nursing home healthcare during a pandemic is different than a hospital. We have lost SO MANY people this year- Covid and non-Covid and it breaks my heart. My love goes out to the nursing staff (including techs and CNAs) who have been by these folks' sides during their final moments and seen so much in a short amount of time. 

This isolation has been a bitch on everyone- your 87 y/o grandma who you haven't seen since February is probably not the same person now. We are slowly opening things back up now that things are on the mend for us. Of course the threat is still out there.  I am not going to get political on here at all but I will say this- to anyone who thinks the virus is not real or not as bad- maybe it isn't to most people, but it is detrimental to the elderly population. That's all about that. 

Being a therapist under a highly demanding company (all therapy companies have struggled this year due to facility shut downs over Covid) has taken its toll on me. I feel like I am not the person I was when I started this job- can I blame all of that on work? no. But a significant portion yes. I feel like I am a shell of a human being- existing on cheese, Diet Coke, and sour patch kids (healthy- I know). I am grateful for the consistent hours when many have not had them so do not get me wrong there. I feel like I'm a hollow chocolate Easter Bunny (but like a good kind of chocolate, not that cheap crap) with no emotion left. I care about all my patients and work my ass off. I wear glasses now because those tiny iPads are hurting my eyes. I rarely wear makeup and feel like I have permanent purple baggage under my eyes. Naps are one of my greatest past-times. I feel like a pawn in this big ass game of chess with no checkmate in sight- just being checked myself to make sure I'm never feeling quite good about myself as a professional. That's just the tip of the iceberg really. 

I am NOT asking for sympathy or comments. That is not my point. My point is that this year has been f*cking rough on ALL OF US everywhere with sometimes little empathy for the worker bees. 

In conjunction with that- this year has changed me and many ways not for the better because of life and work strain. So if I haven't been in touch with you or seem not myself- I haven't been but I'm trying to find the ol' Lindsey gal again. she's in here somewhere. 

I'm trying to make moves in the right direction and get ol' Lindsey back. I'm sure what's happening next but I'm working on it. 

Yuva- my PT buddy

\

'Free t-shirt during a pandemic' day

Sunset over School Buses

When your roommate has a cat who is trying to teach you how to be a cat person. Dogs 4 Life. 

Thanks for reading,

don't worry- I'm fine.

Peace, love, and houseplants,

ME

Picture Updates

Hello everyone and Happy September! Going to try to blog this weekend but here are some pictures of my dog and stuff.

Maggie, Wes, and my folks come down to help my move to a new apartment and we went swimming a lot. The following pictures are from such including a trip to good ol Big Surf Waterpark.

Little nephew

Beauty filter does wonders

Lots of beautiful sunsets as well. I'm a sucker for a lovely sunset. Seeing a sunrise means I'm up too early.

 

You're Being Too Loud

Sunrise,

Sunset.

Hello all and welcome back to the blog! 

It's been a minute and I decided that since it has and I don't have much else to do that I would update the blog. So to all those still reading, welcome back!

Did I miss anything??? Oh, that's right. A worldwide pandemic virus took over and shut shit down. And now that it's May and warming up outside and some are wanting to get their hair cut and work on their golf game. And in the case down here in the Ozarks, coming down to the lake potentially bringing this virus here in greater numbers (we're at 35 cases reported locally in the county). I am by no means trying to start a political discussion or speak on the economy; we're all on Facebook- we know where everyone stands on those topics. I am just saying be smart and do what is best for your family, community, and loved ones. And I know money doesn't grow on trees- though I wish it did.

I am still working. I am essential worker- but not like super-essential like a nurse, doctor, CNA, etc. I'm just a therapist who is working very short days on my own and trying to file partial unemployment. This work week starts my 4th week of being a therapy department of one as our building's corporate offices has decided to reduce foot traffic for therapists in and out of facilities. I won't elaborate on that because I don't give names of companies or employers on here or Facebook. Anyway. It's been about a month since I've seen my PT, SLP, PTA, and program assistant and I can't go to other buildings right now (CMS guidelines).  So I work less than a half day, go home, do whatever, and take a nap. That's kind of the daily routine. I am thankful to not really have to care for anyone other than my dog right now though- God bless you all homeschooling your children and taking care of your loved ones who can't work or who are sick.

I don't have too much to say since I don't delve into anything deep on here. I'm good. Bella and I are trucking along trying to take walks daily and just do our thing. I've been reading a lot (as usual) and working on some embroidery projects- I make a mean French knot and can cross stitch like a boss.

I wanted to share some photos from the last two months just because. I realized the other day that it's only been 4 months that I have been working at this job and it feels like an eternity with no certain future.

Bennett Springs State Park 2/29/20

Was a nice day on the Leap day and little did I know the next day was the first day of trout fishing season.

While she looks reluctant here, Bella did have a good time.

Also, we did go to the WORLD"S LARGEST GIFT SHOP right off of Highway 44 because it was nearby. 

Definitely a bust. Nothing you should drive out of your way for. 

However, right next door was the Candy Factory. Of course I got some yummies but they had the BEST bathroom I'd seen in a while. So G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S (I hope you sang that like Fergie).

This weekend we went to Ha Ha Tonka State Park near here and did a hike (Bella in her backpack) with me trying not to slip and kill us both. Beautiful day. Lots of people out? Also today we walked down by the lake some. 

Try to look cooler than me. Just try. 

I forgot. The title of this post is dedicated to my hatred for apartment living. It is still MUCH better here than my apartment in Wildwood because i live in a townhouse therefore there are no wildebeasts stampeding above me at all times- maybe they liked to reneact that song from The Lion King? The short version is just I hate living in apartments probably because I have lived in so many different places in the last two years. It's better here but I still have neighbors next door on both sides of me and the walls are thin. 

We're off to walk and roll in the grass (at least one of us...)

Peace, love, & Social Distancing,

ME and Bella

Pinch Your Cheeks

Hello all. Now that I have a permanent job I don't have as many interesting 'travel' stories but I'm still here. I can share events as they happen for my faithful readers- for example this past weekend we (dog and I) went to a state park. But today that is not the topic. 

All my therapy friends can relate and 'YASS QUEEN' to this post. It's about productivity standards in our workplace and how it is BULLSHIT. Plain and simple. If you like productivity its probably because you conveniently 'make' yourself productive on the clock or you're higher level management who is forced to like to so we can meet our budgets. blarffff. 

Feeling the PINCH.

Created by Sophia516

pro·duc·tiv·i·ty

1. the rate at which goods are produced or work is completed
2. the rate per unit area or per unit volume at which biomass consumable as food by other organisms is made by producers
3. measure of productive efficiency calculated as the ratio of what is produced to what is required to produce it
4. having the quality or power of producing especially in abundance
5. effective in bringing about
6. yielding results, benefits, or profits
7. yielding or devoted to the satisfaction of wants or the creation of utilities
8. producing or able to produce something especially in large amounts
9. advances in productivity stemmed from a number of innovations, including assembly lines and automation
10. raising mucus or sputum from the bronchi <a productive cough>

Ok. So there are MW's definitions of productivity. I personally feel like this topic feels more like definition #10 than the others but I highlighted the ones more associated with this instance.  Some people like to say 'efficiency' instead of productivity but it's still the same bullshit. It's like euphemisms for puking- you can say you 'lost your lunch' but you still barfed, hurled, or ralphed. 

for you non-therapist readers- we are held to productivity standards to account for our billable vs. non-billable time - ideally our billable therapy time (direct treatment) divided by total time in the building ranges from 85-95% when do you do the math. Those numbers are roughly average but are NOT realistic. Standards varied for different therapy disciplines, positions, and higher if you are a third-party contractor (most therapy companies are if they are in long term care).  

Here is my main thought on this rigamarole: 

IT IS HARD TO BE A PRODUCTIVE THERAPIST AND A GOOD THERAPIST. 

In my experience and clinical opinion it is hard to provide actual good therapy and patient care while at the same time completing your note with them point-of-service AND getting your next patient within the next 3 minutes or so.. This gives you zero time to talk to a nurse, go to the bathroom, breathe, check your work email, talk to your boss, etc. So if you are a super therapist and can HONESTLY make your productivity standard everyday, more power to you soul sister or brother- I salute that. 

Now add in addition to those tasks being an evaluating therapist like myself- you now have evaluations, progress notes, re-certs, orders, and supervise your therapy assistants. 

Now add in being an evaluating therapist and management role (I'm not a PD) where you have meetings and additional paperwork. 

In my position it is VERY frustrating and stressful to me- I am very hard on myself, have control issues, and am type-A. So throw all that together and you have a hot flippin' mess. You want to do your best, help others, lead others, and maintain your productivity. This is where I nearly fall apart when I get emails or calls about this crap- no insults intended just the general frustration that comes with this topic. Now add in Diet Coke on an IV to keep me going. I told one of my co-workers that my name tag needs to say : "NAME", Occupational Therapist, I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN. 

its' so hard y'all. I know my therapy friends get it. I don't know when or if we'll catch a break. PDPM changes did not help this mess. I get it that it all goes back to finances and budgeting but it is NOT realistic. This is why you lose people and why people work in different settings (i.e. schools) where productivity isn't an issue. And for those who work the clock and manipulate it to their advantage- you're not helping those of us who are actually working our tails off. 

I'm off this soap box. I have others but I won't go there. Just don't ask me about exercise, puzzles, tracing, teaching shoe tying, incontinence training, and DEFINITELY not 'sensory diets'. 

Thanks for reading! That's all for now. Next post on Bella and I's latest adventures. Keep on livin' the American dream. 

Peace, love, and crockpots,

ME

2019: No Regerts

happy new year everyone! Its the 20's again.

                             

I couldn't speak about the 1920's without mentioning one of my all-time favorite movies starring Dame Julie Andrews, Carol Channing, and MaryTyler Moore; Thoroughly Modern Millie.

So, here we are in 2020. I'm about to start my 4th week of work since I started right before NYE here is South Central Missouri in Osage Beach. To say the least, I am EXHAUSTED and living off of Diet Coke. The good part about working long days (the only good part) is that I'm sleeping better at night. The other reason I'm sleeping at night is that I don't have a herd of antelopes living above me. i have a townhome and use my second bedroom upstairs (Bella's bedroom really) to work out so I don't have to worry about any neighbors below me. Anyway. Work is good, but tiring and stressful. Hopefully, like Stella, I will get my groove back and find my happy medium where I'm not exhausted nearing a burn-out. 

I live south of OB in Camdenton but whole Lake area is pretty much in hibernation this time of year. I've never been down here in the winter but it's like Branson, except more dead because there don't appear to be any hometown feel-good shows here (common themes including I love America, Jesus, the Armed Forces, and good 'ol family fun!) and an attraction like Silver Dollar City. Even the outlets are in sleep mode. But in the summer come on down for Big Surf waterpark and lake fun- it'll be on like Donkey Kong. Bonus is anyone wants me to go on their boat with them. I'm a great (and safe!) passenger. 

Also- heads up to those therapists that are traveling or planning to; it is crucial to remember your location when you are discussing meal times with your patients. Anywhere close to or below the Mason-Dixon Line the evening meal you eat is called 'supper'. That's it. No other options. You say 'dinner' and you confuse folks. I was corrected on this by a patient in Virginia - "I already HAD dinner." The meal you eat in the middle of the day can be called lunch or dinner. 

Snow last weekend

Snow last weekend

Ha Ha Tonka State Park 2 weeks ago- Castle Ruins

'Natural Bridge'

Don't look at me. Look at my dog in her backpack. 

In closing, we're going to break down 2019 with some numbers and highlights. Let's do it (said in Tone Loc's voice).

2019

• Worked 4 different travel contract jobs in 2 different states
• Quit first job in California in February 2019 due to HATING it and very strong suspicions of medicare fraud
• Hit a doe in Cali, car ruined (not to mention the deer)
• Lived in 4 different locations; the most beautiful being Kelseyville CA 
• Read 27 books this year
• I became an Aunt again to my sister's baby, born in October 2019
• worked at a total of 10 different nursing homes! (several with each contract)
• Came home end of July, spent time with the fam and had some time off before contract started in September
• Quit my long-time PRN OT job (I won't miss the bullshit my friends have to deal with but I will miss all my friends)
• Visited FIVE new National Parks this year- Redwoods, Joshua Tree, Rocky Mountain, Sequoia, and Canyonlands
• 2 cross-country road-trips with my Mom and dog as main companions 
• My priceless movers (Dad and his assistant, Mom) moved me to THREE different homes
• Got to spend Christmas with my family this year (did not for 2018) 
• Sent countless postcards
• PDPM started for SNFs- thank God we don't have any more RUG levels. 
• Explored SO MUCH in California and loved it (refer to previous blog posts for photos of those adventures)- Cayucos, Morrow Bay, Monterey, Carmel, Bodega Bay, Point Arena, the Sequoias, beautiful countryside, etc.
• BELLA is still alive and living her best life- went on special Rx food over the summer in CA due to crystals forming in bladder. Loved the NorCal house best. She got to spend some QT with her grandparents this year, most importantly. You can never have too much attention in her mind- make that adults only, still wants kids to leave her alone. 
• Worked with some AMAZING co-workers in 3/4 jobs this year (Fresno, you're all assholes) and made some good friends. I hope I instilled in all of you to be your best in patient care and RECYCLE to reduce your carbon footprint. 
• Took a full-time position here in Southcentral MO as a Rehab Clinical Leader for my building. 

I'm off like a dirty shirt! Enjoy your evening and keep on livin' the dream! 

Peace, love, and Magic Shell,

ME (and Bella)