Hello, it's me.

 Hello all and welcome back to the blog! 

Home for the 4th

It's been a LONG time since I posted because stuff was shit for a while and then things got better and life got busy. I'm doing great now and I'm still in the greatest state in our nation- Texas. (don't tell them otherwise 😊). I've been hearing this heat in my part of Texas is fairly mild for this summer- maybe due to the snowpocalypse in February? Who knows. I'm still in my little house and I'm obsessed with sweeping my porch and would make my grandmother proud to know I'm bleaching my porch and sidewalks (mold). I'm fighting battles against scorpions coming into my house for many reasons but #1 is I don't want those bastards killing my dog. Good news though is she sleeps all day on my bed and I've been keeping up good maintenance to keep them out. However this week I had two in the same day. one was in my sink! I killed him and then straight up poured bleach down my drains in case there were any stragglers. Bleach is my go-to killer if it's nearby. 

Anyway- to backtrack some. I lost my job in February at the SNF I was working at locally. My DOR and the administrator were/are pieces of shit, to say the least. I really liked the girls I worked with and there are some great, caring employees there. Unfortunately corporate bullshit can get into best clinical practice and patient care. I won't go into all of it because 1) it's not necessary and 2) just thinking about it pisses me off again. Again, I liked my co-therapists in the short time we worked together so NONE of my frustration is directed at them. I can hold a good grudge and I will this time. Why so angry Lindsey? Maybe you're the problem? If the problem is caring too much about my patients, being diligent, and trying to avoid participating in potential Medicare fraud- then yes I am the problem. I work way too hard to be a puppet. I truly love working in SNF but I can't handle the politics of it including the productivity standards. That's beside the point and I have had some AMAZING co-workers and bosses (you know who you are). Aside from many other reasons when you tell your boss that you have depression and anxiety it should be used as a means to understand their behavior, motivation, or whatever. It should NOT be held against you. Until you've been to where you don't want to do anything including getting up for work and function then you don't know. I think I get more mad thinking about it all because of what it did to me mentally. I was in a dark, dark place. 

BUT IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER. 

I took advantage of time between jobs and got to explore a lot and go out in nature. I started a new job end of March in pediatrics doing both clinic and home health. I am happy to be back in peds and don't hate my job after 6 months thus far. It's been a great refreshing start over in this population and has improved my confidence and state of mind for sure. It's kind of sad how much I can base my self-worth on how my job is going. I enjoy working with kids (though I miss the seniors) and feel really comfortable with my place and position. I feel like I am respected and my opinion is valued and that  I can do good things. I'm also seeing someone special but I'm not ready to introduce him to the world yet. He has also made me happier. 

so I'M OK and out of that dark place and into a really good one overall. Texas is great (minus the bugs) and I'm out here doing my thing. Bella continues to live her best life. 

Here are some pictures from this summer. Peace, love, and donuts- ME

Meet Tex. He comes over for treats. Don't make eye contact if you don't have time for treats. 

REMEMBER THE ALAMO

Fourth of July in STL

MoBot with mom and Peg

                
                                               Don't fly with your dog if your dog is Bella. 

Barton Springs Municipal Pool, Austin. Robert Redford learned to swim here when he was 5. 

Carter Creek Winery and Resort